Archive for the ‘Tarbox Consulting’ Category

100113 – Phoning it in

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

This morning I got a telemarketing call from a computer. Normally I’d just hang up (after all, if they don’t even bother to have a real person greet me, how could I possibly be bothered?) but this time I stayed on the line a bit to listen because it started off admitting that “This is a telemarketing call,” and “We apologize for taking up your valuable time.” OK, I’ll keep listening. An apology goes a long way in my book, especially because most telemarketers are just underpaid joes just doing their jobs.

But then my jaw dropped. The apology was not for the telemarketing call. “We regret that we do not have a representative available to speak with you at this time.” What?!? I stayed on the line because you acknowledged that my time was valuable, and then you just shot me down because *your* time was too valuable to even have a real person available to speak with me. I hung up when I realized that the computer was going on to say that “We’ll call you back when we’re available to speak with you.”

No. You won’t.

Unfortunately, I can’t really complain to the FCC because my home phone line is also listed as the primary contact number for my business license here in San Jose. And because it’s associated with a business, the regular rules just don’t apply. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun when they call back.

Have you all heard of Tom Mabe “Revenge on the Telemarketers”? I met him while I was living in Louisville… give this a listen

And on a more positive note, here’s a picture of this week’s phenomenal German Chocolate Cake (Thanks Diane! the shaved coconut made all the difference!!!)

The homemade topping on this (thanks Diane!) made all the difference!

The homemade topping on this (thanks Diane!) made all the difference!

091218 – Makes You Wonder

Friday, December 18th, 2009

Today’s phone call:

Caller: “Hello, this is Tony with VMS. Is this Tarbox Consulting?”
Me: “This is Mrs. Tarbox. Who did you say you were with?”
Caller: “VMS”
Me: “What exactly is ‘VMS’?”
Caller: “Uhhh.”
Me: (thinking he didn’t understand the question) “What does VMS stand for?”
Caller: “Uhhh…I uh, don’t know.” (trying to recover) “But we are a Visa and Mastercard processing center, and we’d like to make you a special offer….”
Me: (cutting him off) “I’m sorry, this is a sales call, correct?
Caller: “Yes ma’am.”
Me: “And you don’t know what the initials in your company name stand for?”
Caller: “Ma’am, we’re a Visa and Mastercard processing center….”
Me: (cutting him off again) “I’m sorry, I’m certainly not going to do business with a company whose sales reps don’t even know the name of their company. Why don’t you call me when you know what you’re doing?” (Hangs up)

Seriously? Guy didn’t even know the name of his own company. Seems like they should cover than in basic training….

Think I’ll go eat a brownie.

091027 – Evil Chocolate Cake

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

Last night I had a meeting here at the house (I’m the new Council Cub Camping Committee Marketing Chair, which is a long-winded way of saying that I’m the person who’s going to do her level best to increase the number of attendees at Cub Scout summer camps). Anyway, I used the meeting as a (poor) excuse to make my favorite cake in the entire world–you know the one I mean–the one where you take a box of Devil’s Food cake mix, add a box of instant chocolate pudding, 4 eggs, a half cup of oil, a half cup of water, and a cup of sour cream. You mix it all up, and then you add an entire bag of chocolate chips. And then you bake it and then drizzle it with melted chocolate.

Bliss.

So the meeting people arrive and I get them drinks and just as I’m about to serve the cake–”I’m sorry, we’re both allergic to chocolate.” So I put the cake away and we had our meeting and I had to FORCE myself not to keep turning around to look at that cake. I could smell it and hear it and I WANTED IT.

I’ve never sat through such a long meeting. Even though it was only an hour.

And as Eric was saying our goodbyes at the door, I was already back in the kitchen, cutting a slab of that cake. And it was as good as I’d been hoping. Better, even.

Today, I’ve had to stop myself from cutting “just a little piece” of that cake all day, forcing myself to wait until after dinner. I know it’s going to taste even better than it did last night because I’ve been waiting longer for it. I might even wait until the kids go to bed to enjoy it, so I don’t have to censor myself.

On another note, I’m kind of excited that the produce market by the Morgan Hill Community Center has walnuts and almonds now for $3.99 a pound. It almost doesn’t matter if they’re any good, because toasting them and baking them in biscotti makes it a moot point (as long as they’re not bitter). I’ve been saving plastic ice cream buckets with lids so that I’ll have sturdy, secure containers to use to ship them back east. Maggie, it’s not a surprise, ok? I solemnly swear that I will send you an obscene amount of biscotti for Christmas, hopefully in puppy-proof containers.

Luke is diligently working on his Christmas list. That kid loves lists. Number one on his list is plastic army men that we can use to decorate the sand forts that we like to build on the beach. Hannah isn’t big on lists, which is fine, because unless she can start keeping her room cleaner, there won’t be any Christmas. Her room is…gross.

Time to get the homework train started. and I need to start reading the new environmental sustainability book I picked up at the bookstore today so I can spend the whole day writing tomorrow. It’s a pretty basic book, but for some reason it’s pushing the right buttons for me and I’m getting some good ideas from it.

Ta for now!